3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
