I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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