I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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