He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
