Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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