I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
