I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
