Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
