I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
