I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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