And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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