Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
