Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.