I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.