Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
she pinky promised me she was 18
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
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i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
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Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion