Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.