All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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