I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize