Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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