We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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