brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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