Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
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