Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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