so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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