I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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