I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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