Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
