I'm eating all of the evidence.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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