If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
