what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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