Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I did not marry a roomba.
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