This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize