Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
There's always time for handjobs
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
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