wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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