He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
