Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
