You can't special order awesome
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she smelled like a LAN party
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
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I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
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Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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