Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
