Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
