Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
