At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
