So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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