yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
