Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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