Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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