Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
