Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
