I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize