Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Let's get the cat blown out
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
