so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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