Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize