Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
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