break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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