just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
