Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
